Calling

When did you hear your calling? Did you listen right away?

This question was submitted by Stefanie.

When?

There are a number of different ways I thought about responding to this question.  I could get into some of the deeper stories about my call, but I think I want to speak in more general terms.  

I probably heard inklings of a call early on, but ignored them.  I know early on I had always been very active in church and when I was in high school had considered becoming a deacon one day.  In my case, I found I was in situations where God began closing some doors and opening others.  This is what eventually led me to the priesthood.  


Perhaps a good analogy of this is like driving along a road with rumble strips.  Every time I would veer off to one side or another, there would be some big thing telling me to go back to my path. 

By the time I really decided to pursue this calling, I was between my third and fourth year in college.  I had been studying Architecture up to that point and changed majors to History.  It was really in this time period that I seriously opened my mind to discerning ordained ministry.  

One of the things I found at the point I accepted the call is that my life changed significantly and many other doors opened up for me, that I never would have imagined. It really allowed me to become more myself.  I have found throughout life in other circumstances that when I've said yes to a calling that this has happened again.

Get by with a little help from my friends...

Something that was definitely the case with me, and I understand is common with others, is that other people recognized the call before I did.  The first person I remember telling me that I should go to seminary was a Canon to the Ordinary of a diocese where I was working at a church camp the summer between my first and second years of college.  I had only known him for a few days, but I remember him catching me one day as I was walking through a room where he was working, and he had me sit down and pressed upon me that he really thought I had a calling.  

A few years later, when I began publicly mentioning my thoughts to others, I was surprised at the affirmations I got.  Some people guessed even before I told them.  I distinctly remember my college campus chaplain saying to me when I said I was thinking about changing majors: "Oh good.  You're going to become a priest!"

Did you listen right away?

No!

I definitely did not listen right away.  With the conversations I had early on, I swore up and down that being a priest was not something I wanted to do.  I had a plan, and my calling was something I fought tooth and nail.  I still have moments where I wonder what I got myself into.

What is God calling you to?

I want to turn the tables a bit.  This isn't necessarily addressed to the person who asked the question, but anyone who is reading this.  If you think God might be calling you to something, God probably is.  Most people who agonize over potentially being called are very likely hearing the voice of God in their lives.

In fact, we're all called to something.  Every baptized Christian has a ministry and a place where God has given her/him gifts and those gifts are intended to be used for God's purposes.  This isn't because God is some grand puppet master, but because we are made so carefully in God's image and Christ's Incarnation is manifested in our lives, that we are inseparable from God.  God is woven into the very fabric of our beings.

Now, of course, sometimes people do misread their callings.  As I said, in my own case, I thought early on about becoming a deacon, when later I found that my calling was the priesthood.  Many people know they're called to something and take a stab at what it might be - perhaps even as a way of avoiding thinking about what their calling actually is.  Sometimes, after proper discernment they discover that their calling was something they never expected.  But that's the beauty of exploring this - it helps us to find more truly who we are.

The important thing for any of us is that we should explore these callings, and we should do that in a faith community.  Talking to people who practice an active ministry, whether ordained or lay, and hearing the stories of others can help us flesh out what it means to discern.  Having intimate spiritual relationships with people who have faith lives will give others the opportunity to recognize the gifts that we bring.  

Discerning a call is not just an individual endeavor.  Like almost everything in our faith lives, it is done in the context of Christian community.  I would encourage anyone who is wondering what his/her calling may be (because we all have some calling) to start exploring this with others.